- “Smoking helps you lose weight — one lung at a time!”
- “Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he’ll show you the door!”
- “Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!”
- “Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!”
- “Thank’s to the new welfare bill, the question “Paper or plastic?” now refers to many American’s sleeping arrangements!”
- “In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!”
- “Most people are so lazy, they don’t even exercise good judgement!”
- “If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!”
- “A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!”
- “The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!”
- “Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!”
- “How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?”
- “It takes one to know one — and vice versa!”
- “Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!”
- “Teenagers are people who act like babies if they’re not treated like adults!”
- “A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!”
- “How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?”
- “Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!”
- “You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!”
- “Blood is thicker than water… but it makes lousy lemonade!”
- “The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!”
- “A plastic surgeon’s office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!”
This entry was posted
on Friday, March 16th, 2007 at 4:22 pm and is filed under Giggly Stuff.
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