Things a Man Should Know About Fatherhood
Don’t worry, your dad didn’t know what *he* was doing, either.
Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his or her mother, and for the first year you are merely a curiosity.
For a couple of years after that, an amusement park ride. Then, a referee. Finally, a bank.
If you want to circumcise your son, insist upon a local anesthetic. Most pediatricians don’t use one. The anesthetic, by the way, is for your son.
There is nothing wrong with thumb-sucking. It helps to ease the pain of teething It should, however, probably stop before high school.
Boys are better because they can’t get pregnant.
Girls are better because they’re less likely to be arrested.
All punishments should reduce the number of disagreeable tasks you would normally have to perform.
Never disclose to other parents that you have found a good babysitter.