Nothing like stating the obvious

Authentic Amusing Headlines

Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
— The Los Angeles Times

Light’ meals are lower in fat, calories
– Huntington Herald-Dispatch

Alcohol ads promote drinking
– The Hartford Courant

Infertility unlikely to be passed on
— Montgomery Advertiser

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
— Cornell Daily Sun

Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
— The New York Times

Malls try to attract shoppers
– The Baltimore Sun

Official: Only rain will cure drought
– The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
– Newsday

Man shoots neighbor with machete
– The Miami Herald

Economist uses theory to explain economy
– Collinsville Herald-Journal

Bible church’s focus is the Bible
– Saint Augustine Record, Florida

Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
– Journal of Commerce

Lack of brains hinders research
– The Columbus Dispatch

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