Travel Hints
Really Good Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler
- Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase “Free Ammo.”
- Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig.
- There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.
- On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter. (Unless you go to Quebec)
- Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.
- Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two.
- Do not ask for directions to a Kosher restaurant when in Syria.
- In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.
- If you enjoy beaches and surfing make Wyoming your second choice.
- Avoid Sudan in the summer. ( or winter )
- Buying cut rate first class tickets from a guy near an airport is not a good idea.
- Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.