During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe
for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a
supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a
train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find
a seat. He [...]
WACO, Texas – A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer [...]
Towards the end of the day’s round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every flower in the patch.All of a sudden, poof! In a flash of light [...]
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Ester, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, [...]
A traveling salesman visits a small town in rural Texas and sees a circus banner reading: “Don’t Miss The Amazing Texan”. The salesman is curious, so he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare, the lights come up and all eyes turn to the center ring. There is revealed a table with [...]
In 1986, Mikele Membe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with its left front leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed; Membe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot [...]
A drunk staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy.He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and [...]
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed a newspaper ad for a hired hand.Only one man applied. Luckily, he proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a [...]
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.”Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.”
“One Cent?” the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?”
“A nickel,” the barman replied.
“A nickel?” exclaimed the man, “Where’s the guy who owns this [...]
Three Rednecks – Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie – were working up on a cell phone tower. As they started their descent Cooter slipped, fell off the tower and was killed by the fall.As the ambulance took the body away, Ronnie said, “Well, damn. Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Donnie said, “Okay – I’m pretty [...]
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper [...]
A couple sees a classified ad for placing a “Christian dog” in a good home. “How,” they wonder, “do the owners know the dog is Christian?” So they have to go check it out.”Oh, yes,” the owners say, “he’s a good Christian dog. Watch this.” They call the dog over and command, “Pray!”
The dog, of [...]
The wife’s story…Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it wasn’t so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and [...]
This morning I got call from an ex-girlfriend who phoned me of the blue to see if I was still around.We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, sexy and romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little [...]
By day and by night, there walks upon the land* a Monster in the form of a new parent armed with photographs of the sprog it recently threw. The Monster will corner you when you least expect it, with no provocation, and subject your eyes and sensibilities to these images.The warnings range from subtle to [...]
Genii Software | WebEditors
This list of WYSIWYG rich text web editors is being maintained as a general resource for developers who want to add a richer editing experience to web based applications. In order to be included, all editors must work in place in a browser window, either by replacing a textarea or by adding [...]
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the [...]
The Middle East Explanation by Tom Attea
A child ran into an ice-cream shop in The Middle East with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“What’s wrong,” the shopkeeper asked.
“The ice cream I just bought from you is melting!” the child wailed, holding up the evidence.
Sure enough, the delectable treat was dripping down the cone.
“I’m sorry,” the [...]
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman … neither work
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way [...]