If Biblical Headlines were written by Today’s Liberal Media On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed On the birth of Christ: HOTELS [...]
Pakistani advertisers in the feminine hygiene business have harnessed the political notoriety of WikiLeaks to tell women that while the US State Department might leak, they don’t have to. Advertising sanitary pads on selected billboards in Pakistan’s financial capital Karachi, the latest catchphrase is: “WikiLeaks… Butterfly doesn’t”. Leaked American diplomatic cables turned the Internet whistleblower [...]
A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would [...]
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave [...]
A YOUNG mum died after a series of blunders by doctors who failed to spot a six-inch long TOILET BRUSH HANDLE embedded in her buttock, an inquest was told today. Cindy Corton, 35, was left with the bizarre injury after a drunken fall in a friend’s bathroom in 2005 but “serious errors” by doctors then [...]
1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the women get their bill, out come [...]
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees & interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now it’s somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank: Family Member: “I’m [...]
the creation of social and religious disorders around this planet had all been the creation of psychologist that had nothing to do except for planning their lead to world armageddone that would be used against all to who have the power to control the creation of life in all nations that were created and smeared [...]
I’ve been lockin horns with the little woman about almost everythin we been talkin about recently. We talk about vacations, we fight. We talk about what to eat for dinner, we fight. We talk about weather er not dijon mustard is to fancy for eatin, we fight. I don’t know what to due. I seems [...]
About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply can-not exist as a permanent form of [...]
STOCKHOLM Forget bunny boiling jealous rages and rapacious butchers. The biggest threats to Peter Rabbit’s Swedish cousins are the cold, the cull and their flammable cadavers. The city of Stockholm shoots thousands of wild rabbits spread across the green spaces of the Swedish capital and sends their bodies to be burned as heating fuel, a [...]
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An 89-year-old war veteran has been found covered in blood after mice chewed his head at an Australian nursing home. The man was discovered in a state of distress at the state government-run nursing home in south west Queensland. Local MP Ray Hopper likened the situation to the Third World. “I’m told by the elderly [...]
What John saves on gas, he spends on gloves.
Three women die together in an auto accident and go to heaven.When they get there, Saint Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks.” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck, and [...]
A married couple and another man are washed up on a deserted island after a shipwreck. The island has enough food and water to support them, so they concentrate their efforts on trying to signal a passing ship. They assemble the makings for a huge bonfire on the beach, and each day one of the [...]
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They have been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.The angel tells them, “As [...]