the creation of social and religious disorders around this planet had all been the creation of psychologist that had nothing to do except for planning their lead to world armageddone that would be used against all to who have the power to control the creation of life in all nations that were created and smeared [...]
I’ve been lockin horns with the little woman about almost everythin we been talkin about recently. We talk about vacations, we fight. We talk about what to eat for dinner, we fight. We talk about weather er not dijon mustard is to fancy for eatin, we fight. I don’t know what to due. I seems [...]
About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply can-not exist as a permanent form of [...]
STOCKHOLM Forget bunny boiling jealous rages and rapacious butchers. The biggest threats to Peter Rabbit’s Swedish cousins are the cold, the cull and their flammable cadavers. The city of Stockholm shoots thousands of wild rabbits spread across the green spaces of the Swedish capital and sends their bodies to be burned as heating fuel, a [...]
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An 89-year-old war veteran has been found covered in blood after mice chewed his head at an Australian nursing home. The man was discovered in a state of distress at the state government-run nursing home in south west Queensland. Local MP Ray Hopper likened the situation to the Third World. “I’m told by the elderly [...]
What John saves on gas, he spends on gloves.
Three women die together in an auto accident and go to heaven.When they get there, Saint Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks.” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck, and [...]
A married couple and another man are washed up on a deserted island after a shipwreck. The island has enough food and water to support them, so they concentrate their efforts on trying to signal a passing ship. They assemble the makings for a huge bonfire on the beach, and each day one of the [...]
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They have been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.The angel tells them, “As [...]
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the [...]
In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon [...]
Two old men, Bill and Sam, have been friends all their lives. Now Sam is dying and Bill comes to visit him every day.”Sam,” says Bill one evening, “You know we’ve both loved baseball all our lives, and how we played minor league ball together for so many years. You have to do me one [...]
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I [...]
This guy was really lonely and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy something unusual.After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He [...]
Nipple slips compilation ft. Tara Reid, Sophie Marceau, Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, Adriana Lima, Federica Fellini, Letitia Lezza, Naomi Campbell, Lucy Lawless, Sabrina, Miss Venezuela, Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkings and many other less famous but funny slips..
CENTERVILLE, Utah — John, a porcelain commode gunned down in an accidental shooting at a fast food restaurant’s bathroom, has died. His age was not immediately known. The toilet was shattered by a bullet Jan. 12 when a man’s gun fell from its holster as he was pulling up his pants, police said. Police do [...]