Archive for December, 2005

Rudyard Kipling

Thursday, December 29th, 2005

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being [...]

Lose The Cat

Thursday, December 29th, 2005

A man hated his wife’s cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing [...]

One and Ten

Monday, December 26th, 2005

Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it. “I’m taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God.” the little girl replied. “He’ll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual.”

Christmas

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005

No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: * Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly * We three kings of porridge and tar * On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me * Later on we’ll perspire, as we dream [...]

Christmas Postage

Tuesday, December 20th, 2005

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What Denomination?” Asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”

Do Women Really Relate Sex To Dancing?

Sunday, December 18th, 2005

by Christine Akiteng No matter what, no matter when, no matter who, any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.” That is what the “Date Doctor” said in the movie “Hitch” starring Will Smith. The Date Doctor goes ahead to say “women relate dancing to [...]

Airport Mistletoe

Sunday, December 18th, 2005

It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was [...]

Bessemer hit Harg Billionm

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

If I fear that it might displease him I could have held him round the neck and cried little shame faced. Times are altering now and I suppose I shall be in a terrible state of shame you asked Stella said the gentleman behind Bred. Them talus campanilees by wholesale with a fast beating heart [...]

dollar-a-column work

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

“Very well, you can have it,” said Jo, handing back the story with a satisfied air, for after the dollar-a-column work, even twenty-five seemed good pay. And thus–not much changed–she, as innocent and earnest-hearted–he, as frank, as hopeful, and more proud of her–Florence and Walter, on their bridal morning, walk through the streets together. Not [...]

Santa a Guy?

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

I think Santa Claus is a woman…. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast [...]

Thank you.

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

if you are not associated with a nonprofit/charity and/or this is not a nonprofit/charity contact email address and/or you are not interested in our occassional non-commercial, non-transactional, non-cost, non-relationship, courtesy emailings we perform to assist various nonprofits and charities interesting in sending out their special non-commercial message and/or non-commercial web site, please respond to delist [...]

country of the citizen

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

please note that this non-commercial, non-transactional, non-relationship email originated from a computer outside of the united states of america by a citizen of a foreign country and obeys all non-commercial email laws of the country of the citizen that initated this non-commercial email.

America remembers

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

on the day alone that this email was edited, six nonprofits/charities responded to this nonprofit emailing and are currently receiving their noncost, non-commercial emailing without cost to them: America remembers: killed in action foundation, his grace: evangelistic ministries, north valley aikikai: aikido education academy, lars ranch: abused children’s sanctuary, musici europae: classic music foundation, coleman [...]

technology of email

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

thanks to the technology of email, here are only a few of the countless charities & nonprofit organizations we have countributed to this year: adventist develop & relief agency international, child help usa, direct relief international, doctors without borders, episcopal relief and development, international medical corps, mercy corps, operation usa, red cross hurricane relief division, [...]

non-transactional

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

this non-commercial, non-transactional, non-relationship, courtesy emailing has an important primary purpose of helping society by assisting nonprofits and charities have their nonprofit/non-commercial mission statement/special message sent out to a large number of emails as a courtesy to help worldwide in national & global relief efforts for various causes in need of non-commercial, non-transactional, non-relationship support.

fill out the order form

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

simply visit our company web site above, fill out the order form with your nonprofit/charity contact details, but do not press submit. Instead, print it out and send a letter to the mailing address on our company web site above with your nonprofit/charity mission statement, a copy of the paperwork from your governmental authority confirming [...]

nonprofit and charities

Thursday, December 15th, 2005

…as a holiday thank you to the world and all the good that nonprofits and charities are doing to assist society, our corporation is doing what it can to help and has decided to give away a non-commercial version of our email sending service without cost to charities and nonprofits in need, which is the [...]

Unknown Reindeer

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question – worth 500 points! “To be today’s champion,” the show’s smiling host intoned, “name two of Santa’s reindeer.” The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such [...]

I’ve just had a baby

Monday, December 12th, 2005

“Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.”

Work Phrases Explained

Monday, December 12th, 2005

Activate: To make carbons and add more names to the memo. Advanced Design: Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency’s copywriters. All New: Parts not interchangeable with existing models. Approved: Needs revising Automatic: That which you cannot repair yourself. Channels: The trails left by interoffice memos. Clarify: To fill in the background with so many [...]