If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being [...]
A man hated his wife’s cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing [...]
Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it. “I’m taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God.” the little girl replied. “He’ll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual.”
No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: * Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly * We three kings of porridge and tar * On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me * Later on we’ll perspire, as we dream [...]
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What Denomination?” Asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”
by Christine Akiteng No matter what, no matter when, no matter who, any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.” That is what the “Date Doctor” said in the movie “Hitch” starring Will Smith. The Date Doctor goes ahead to say “women relate dancing to [...]
It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was [...]
If I fear that it might displease him I could have held him round the neck and cried little shame faced. Times are altering now and I suppose I shall be in a terrible state of shame you asked Stella said the gentleman behind Bred. Them talus campanilees by wholesale with a fast beating heart [...]
“Very well, you can have it,” said Jo, handing back the story with a satisfied air, for after the dollar-a-column work, even twenty-five seemed good pay. And thus–not much changed–she, as innocent and earnest-hearted–he, as frank, as hopeful, and more proud of her–Florence and Walter, on their bridal morning, walk through the streets together. Not [...]
I think Santa Claus is a woman…. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast [...]
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thanks to the technology of email, here are only a few of the countless charities & nonprofit organizations we have countributed to this year: adventist develop & relief agency international, child help usa, direct relief international, doctors without borders, episcopal relief and development, international medical corps, mercy corps, operation usa, red cross hurricane relief division, [...]
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The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question – worth 500 points! “To be today’s champion,” the show’s smiling host intoned, “name two of Santa’s reindeer.” The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such [...]
“Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.”
Activate: To make carbons and add more names to the memo. Advanced Design: Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency’s copywriters. All New: Parts not interchangeable with existing models. Approved: Needs revising Automatic: That which you cannot repair yourself. Channels: The trails left by interoffice memos. Clarify: To fill in the background with so many [...]