Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona… After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, “Oh, Pastor Bill, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t want you to leave!” The kindhearted pastor [...]
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still [...]
The same Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all [...]
A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, “Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there.”
Three women die together in an auto accident and go to heaven. When they get there, Saint Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks.” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck, [...]
One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his [...]
Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told the cabbie the address she needed. The cabbie turned out to be a lunatic driver, and Jill sat in the backseat clutching the door handle wondering if she could expect to survive this trip. The [...]
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the young southpaw. “You always seem to lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” asked the kid. “Right after the National Anthem.”
My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn’t in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she’d phone back later. At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to [...]
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple, and the problem was quickly resolved. On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door. Realizing my mistake, I [...]
Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, “I’m not about to play golf with Jim Walsh anymore. He cheats.” “Why do you say that?” “Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green.” “That’s possible.” “Not when I had it in my pocket!”
Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continued playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “So, who is going to tell his wife?” They draw [...]
My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn’t have batteries. He stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn’t attract the attention of the clerk. I waited for a little while then said, “I’ll get a clerk [...]
A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be “Macho,” and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: “Say, look at that big bunch of cows.” The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ but ‘herd.’ ” “Heard what?” “Herd of cows.” “Sure, I’ve [...]