After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug [...]
What John saves on gas, he spends on gloves.
Three women die together in an auto accident and go to heaven.When they get there, Saint Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks.” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossible not to step on a duck, and [...]
A married couple and another man are washed up on a deserted island after a shipwreck. The island has enough food and water to support them, so they concentrate their efforts on trying to signal a passing ship. They assemble the makings for a huge bonfire on the beach, and each day one of the [...]
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They have been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.The angel tells them, “As [...]
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the [...]
In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon [...]
Two old men, Bill and Sam, have been friends all their lives. Now Sam is dying and Bill comes to visit him every day.”Sam,” says Bill one evening, “You know we’ve both loved baseball all our lives, and how we played minor league ball together for so many years. You have to do me one [...]
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I [...]
This guy was really lonely and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy something unusual.After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He [...]
Towards the end of the day’s round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every flower in the patch.All of a sudden, poof! In a flash of light and [...]
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Ester, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris [...]
A traveling salesman visits a small town in rural Texas and sees a circus banner reading: “Don’t Miss The Amazing Texan”. The salesman is curious, so he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare, the lights come up and all eyes turn to the center ring. There is revealed a table with [...]
In 1986, Mikele Membe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with its left front leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed; Membe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s [...]
A drunk staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy.He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and [...]
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed a newspaper ad for a hired hand.Only one man applied. Luckily, he proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a [...]
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.”Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.” “One Cent?” the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?” “A nickel,” the barman replied. “A nickel?” exclaimed the man, “Where’s the [...]
Three Rednecks – Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie – were working up on a cell phone tower. As they started their descent Cooter slipped, fell off the tower and was killed by the fall.As the ambulance took the body away, Ronnie said, “Well, damn. Someone should go and tell his wife.” Donnie said, “Okay – I’m [...]